Rough night. Tossed, turned, then tossed again.
I went over in my mind all of the things that I have to be grateful for, all the positives in my life.
And there are a lot.
And I am grateful.
But at the end of the day I'm simply not happy. The joy is gone.
I loved having Harold stay with me. Making new discoveries in his journey to communicate. I even loved staying up all night desperately trying to fix his vantage lite. And then finally, as the sun is rising, finding success and receiving the greatest reward; Harold's beaming smile.
I feel so incomplete, so useless. And I know that feeling isn't always going to be here. And I know I have to keep trying. There are people in this world that need help, and I can still make a difference. I have to stay motivated. I have to trust that somehow, as impossible as it seems, that joy will creep back into my life. I just have to hang on long enough.
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